I just had a nice time at the bank opening up a savings account for Gretel.
The
bank manager mentioned how calmly and quietly she was sitting in the
chair and asked if she was always so well-behaved. I said that she
usually was, but that she could erupt at any time. Nearly on cue she
reached for me, sat on my lap, and puked all over the front of me.
The
bank manager ran to get some paper towels and while she was gone Gretel
must have become possessed by a demon. I don't know how to explain how
much puke came out of her. It was like she was trying to imitate Pete
Brady's science experiment volcano. It was like she was trying to start a
Stand By Me-esque Barf-O-Rama. It was like I took the Baby Puke Bucket Challenge. It was epic. It was monumental. It was... is magnificent the correct word?
The
bank manager returned with like 8 napkins. I was for some reason
compelled to state the obvious- "the situation has become much worse." I
guess that was my way of telling her she was going to have to get her
nice office chairs pressure-washed. We mutually decided that it
might be better if I came back later to finish creating the account.
Out
at the car I took off my shirt, took off Gretel's pants, put her in the
car seat... and I swear we shared a look of understanding and each
started giggling.
