The New Liquor Store Cashier

I just had the strangest cashier ever. I put two bottles of wine up on the counter at the liquor store and he said “Can I help you?”

It took a couple seconds to figure out how to respond- “I want to buy these.”

He stared right at the money in my hand and asked, “Do you want to pay with cash or a credit card?”

I held up my hand slightly and said “Cash.”

He kept looking at it and asked me “How much?”

Again, how do I answer? I’m trying to not be rude but everything he's saying is completely backwards. Obviously it’s his first day on the job, but how does he not know this routine? Certainly he’s bought things in a store before, probably thousands of times. The customer puts things on the counter, the cashier rings them up and tells the customer how much is owed. How has it been this much trouble up to this point? I asked him, “What do I owe?”

He looked, “$14.71.”

I handed him $15 and wondered what else was going to happen.

He rang it up and said rather confidently, “You’re change is twenty-nine cents.” He had said it too early though, he still needed to put all the money away and get the change. A minute later he handed me a quarter and four pennies. Except he didn’t really hand it to me. I wouldn’t say that he “tossed” it either, but whatever he did resulted in two of the pennies falling to the floor.

I picked them up and he handed me the bag. As I grabbed it he asked me if I wanted it double-bagged. I said no, realizing later that this was a huge mistake. My wine bottles made it back home intact, but I should have taken him up on his offer just to see what else would have happened. Would have he put them in a trash bag? Would have he then have asked if I wanted it triple-bagged? Paper-bagged? Tea-bagged? No way, but something very weird would have happened and I wish I knew what it was.

I know one thing though- he’s my new liquor store cashier.

Wax On, Wax Off?

The Karate Kid... classic story of The Hero's Journey, for those of you familiar with Joseph Campbell. The hero is placed in an unfamiliar setting, is taken under the wing of a master of some skill, and then succeeds in proving his new skill without the help of the master. The story is a metaphor of any rite of passage into adulthood. Where do these archetypes come from?

What marks the physical rite of passage into adulthood? And how do you think the screenwriters came up with "wax on, wax off?" Wax on... wax off? Wax on...... wax off? After he refused to continue doing it, he discovered that he already possessed the desired skill- a skill he had to use responsibly.

Can you figure it out, or do I have to spill the beans?

The Last Place You Look

When people can't find something sometimes they say "It's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. That's because you found it. What kind of maniac would keep looking? Beware if you ever hear someone say, "It was in the third to last place I looked."

The Funniest Thing I Never Said

Sloth and I were at the co-op’s board meeting today with 10 Amish farmers when the subject of bin Laden’s death came up. Someone asked if we'd heard that bin Laden's father had 57 children. I thought of the funniest thing that could be said at that moment- “I had no idea bin Laden was Amish.”

But I couldn't pull the trigger, too busy trying to decide if it was appropriate or not. Just as I realized that although it was probably inappropriate it would still be acceptable, although just barely. I wanted to say it but sadly the moment had passed.

There's no doubt the place would have erupted in laughter. As it died down I could have added, “I should have known by the beard, by why didn’t he wear a straw hat?”

The Dying of the Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Did you ever realize that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages of grief, which are generally used to deal with the death of someone close to you, also double as a guide to dealing with our own death? Poor Dylan Thomas only got to the 2nd stage.

Shock- No way will there be a dying of the light!
Anger- I rage, rage against the dying of the light!
Bargaining- Is there anyway I can avoid the dying of the light?
Depression- I’m so sad there will be a dying of the light.
Acceptance- I’ve come to live with the fact that there will indeed be a dying of the light.

I hope your thoughts on death matured after that poem buddy!

Reflections on Freedom

I find it tantalizingly strange that people who believe that we are victims of our environment tend to seem like victims of their environment, and people who believe that we are masters of our our destiny tend to seem like masters of their destiny.

Maybe we are both victims of our environment, and masters of our own destiny, the same as we are both physical (our body) and non-physical (our thoughts.) And maybe we belong to each category in proportion to how much we believe we belong to each category.

Perhaps our bodies are victims of our environment because they belong to our environment, and perhaps our minds are masters of our own destiny because they are not of the physical world.

The physical world effects our minds and helps shape them, but perhaps in the realm of pure thought we are free.

You know, like the guy in this song:



Or the guy in this vat:

http://www.sechumscm.org/WhereAmI.html

Or the guy who wrote these words, sitting inside on a lovely spring Saturday afternoon. Time to go become part of the environment.

Anyone For Barbecue???

I walked outside of our office and smelled the delicious smell of some barbecued meat. We're kind of secluded so I wondered where it was coming from.

For some reason I remembered a time a few months ago when a customer asked me if it was creepy working so near a funeral home. I didn't know what she was talking about. She pointed to a small building maybe 300 yards away and told me it was the crematorium.

I wished I hadn't remembered that- I looked over and saw smoke rising out of the small crematorium chimney and it was blowing right toward us. Thus, barbecued meat.

On the Ephemerality of Life and the Immortal Nature of Transcendence

Elizabeth Taylor died today, and I can’t shake the feeling that she’s not really dead. After watching several minutes of Giant there is no question that she is as luminous as she ever was, even moreso. When I read Henry Miller it’s as if he’s speaking to me. The Carter Family still sings for me. It seems like they’ve bridged some gap. Those in the arts invest themselves in their craft. After they are gone and their work remains, are they somehow still with us?

Look at this picture.



No, she’s not dead. She’s very alive.

Joseph Campbell said that in all cultures a god is “a symbol of transcendence and mystery.” Is Elizabeth Taylor a goddess? Look at that picture again. She is certainly a symbol of transcendence and mystery, and beauty. Aphrodite incarnate. Is that the reason they call actors and actresses “stars”- because like gods, they reside in the heavens? Should we rename the constellations? Instead of Leo the Lion, perhaps Maggie the Cat?

(The Gemini Twins could become The Shining Twins, but I somehow don’t see that catching on.)

No, let’s take a step back- Elizabeth Taylor is not a goddess. That’s ridiculous. She was flesh-and-blood, “one of us.” That’s a fact, but are facts important?

After watching several minutes of my first Herzog film, Even Dwarfs Started Small, I had to take a break. The world was magic. I took a bike ride and couldn’t get the phrase “a strange ecstasy” out of my mind. It repeated over and over. Later I read that Herzog’s goal with every film was to reveal “an ecstatic truth.” He often succeeds, but how? How can a fictional story reveal some great truth about our experience in the real world?

Jane Goodall once told Campbell about a band of chimpanzees “going bananas” after hearing a huge thunder clap. They all started charging in mock displays of aggression. He recognized their behavior as a basic form of religion- realization of transcendence and mystery (in the form of thunder) as a genesis for ritual behavior. Campbell believes this recognition is the dawn of humanity. (Remember the obelisk in 2001?) The chimps’ god was fictional, but would it lessen their experience to learn that the thunder can be explained scientifically?

Herzog does not believe in the difference between fact and fiction in film. He’s made many documentaries and many fiction films and says he can not tell the difference between them. For documentaries he has staged shots and written dialogue. For fiction films he has cast non-actors as leads and actually drug a boat up over a mountain. These strategies have only added to the power of his films.

In Even Dwarfs Started Small his cast was made up of what would have in times past been called sideshow freaks. They each have their own distinct look. Their bodies are deviations from the norm, but they each possess a strange beauty. I’m not sure that any are presented with a single redeeming quality, and some are monsters- but still each scene possesses transcendence and mystery.

Campbell spoke of some monsters that, although evil, were still sublime. Bukowski comes to mind. Maybe Bukowski was a monster- his poetry, although perfectly capturing all of the foul horridness of the human condition, is still somehow sublime. Like Herzog with film, many of Bukowski’s poems capture some ecstatic truth. Were his poems real, were they factual? Does it matter?

Bukowski was ugly and Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful. They might be facts, but he thought she was the ugliest woman he’d ever seen- the 25-year-old Elizabeth Taylor! An aberration to an aberration I suppose. (History doesn’t record how Elizabeth Taylor felt about Bukowski’s attractiveness… I suppose we can only speculate.) Want to hear Bukowski rant about how ugly Elizabeth Taylor is? Watch this:



Maybe she was a monster. Or maybe Bukowski had a bit too much to drink. Or maybe we’re all monsters. And maybe we’re all sublime. We’re all facts and symbols- our true selves versus the way people see us.

Kachina dancers of the Hopi Indians are both real and not real- the members of the tribe know that the dancer is their buddy in a costume, but the fact doesn’t matter, the symbol matters. The kachina dancer is treated as the god he symbolizes. During the dance they are that god.

I’ve heard Christians say that it doesn’t matter whether Jesus ever existed, what matters is that they follow his example. Exactly, the symbol is important, the fact is meaningless.

Religions fail when they see themselves as fact. They succeed when they acknowledge themselves as symbol. Black Elk, when speaking of a vision he had concerning the Sioux’s defeat of Custer saw himself on the “sacred, central mountain of the world,” referring to Harney Peak in South Dakota, and he added, “but the central mountain is everywhere.” Campbell saw this as a recognition of the symbolic nature of their own myths. They were true to the Sioux, but the myths of other cultures could also be true.

Recognizing their symbolic nature does not make religions false, as many adherents believe. All religions can become true by recognizing the true nature of their essence. Through symbol they satisfy not Christian, Native American or Ancient Greek psychological needs, but rather human psychological needs- answers to the universal questions- “What happened to my friend after he died?,” “What will happen when I die?,” and “How should I live my life?”

Recognizing their symbolic nature also answers the question “Would have I still been a Christian if I was born before Jesus's time on an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean?” In fact, no. In symbol, yes- because what Jesus symbolizes pre-dates Christianity, and transcends culture.

Many religions’ fear of becoming extinct causes them to cling to facts. Ironically, their facts prohibit them from adapting- and that which doesn’t adapt, dies. A Christianity that recognizes the Bible as a symbol is the only one that can survive. (This leaves room for debate on whether it should survive.)

Of course, in the past I’ve completely underestimated humanity’s power for accepting cognitive dissonance. We can’t avert our eyes when looking at the similar archetypes that run through all cultures, can we?

Herzog has said “the poet can not avert his eyes” when one has the urge to turn away from current pop culture. He continued “This is why I watch the Anna Nicole Smith Show.” I used this quote recently as a challenge for a friend to watch Rebecca Black’s video “Friday.” The challenge was denied. The reason offered was- “No man can live up to the words of Herzog, so I'll accept no challenge. You speak of a demigod.”



A demigod? I agreed. Then someone said- “For a man with no religion, Ben sure has a lot of gods.” I suppose I do. There are many who I see as symbols of transcendence and mystery. Are they gods? Yes, if that’s your definition. Are they people? Yes, in fact.

Am I an atheist? If the question is whether God is a fact, then yes, I’m an atheist. If the question is whether God is a symbol, then nobody is. Watch this:



“Wow,” is right. Was I just hit by Zeus’s lightning bolt?

What symbolizes me? I’m somewhat renowned among my friends for my list of 600 favorite films. I recently whittled it back down to 100, and I know that when I die someone could watch those films and have a pretty good idea of who I was. The life that art reflects is the same life I see in myself, and the same life all of us have in ourselves.

Herzog is the reality, his films are the symbol of him, and they will live on after he’s gone- the way the films lived on for Stanley Kubrick, Orson Welles, John Ford, Alfred Hitchcock, Billy Wilder, and the rest. Those men are still here with us- not their consciousness, but their essence. By sharing their essense they helped us recognize those same qualities in ourselves.

What does it mean to be human? To recognize transcendence. What does it mean to be a god? To transcend. An Onion headline today read “Gorgeous 25-Year-Old Dead at 79.” That says it all.

A Chat With Julie, About a Controversial Theory

Randy: Are you there?

(an hour passes)

Julie: Yes.

(a few minutes pass)

Julie: Are YOU there?

(an hour passes)

Randy: YES! ARE YOUUUUUUUUUU THERE???

(a few minutes pass)

Julie: Yes

Randy: Good, I was just wondering

(5 minutes pass)

Julie: I see.

(here I’ll skip a half hour of back-and-forth chatting that would bore you)

Randy: I just bought a nice voice recorder for $20... so now I can record all of my gold nugget ideas

Julie: And all the shit nugget ones too

Randy: Speaking of shit nuggets, have I ever told you about my diamond turd theory?

Julie: no, but I'm sure it's another one of your shit nugget ideas.

(I pause to build anticipation)

Julie: Lets' hear it.

Randy: Actually it's a gold nugget idea… about shit nuggets

Randy: Someone keeps eating their turds over and over and over, and the turds keeps getting more and more concentrated until one day a little diamond turd pops out.

Randy: It's not a pleasant theory.

Julie: Yeah, I think I heard that one before.

Randy: And you still think it's a shit nugget idea?

Julie: Oh definitely

Randy: You're right, you passed the test

Randy: That's an example of the type of thing I will not be saying into that recorder.

Randy: OK, who am I kidding?

Julie: Exactly

Julie: That's the kind of thing I see written on scraps of paper, in nearly illegible handwriting, all over the house

Randy: Haha! You've never been righter.

Randy: By the way, I'm going to make this conversation into a blog

Julie: Nah.

Randy: Anything you want to say to all the blog readers out there?

Julie: Not really.

Julie: So what you're saying is that your blog is a shit nugget forum for you to unleash more crap on the world?

Julie: Does that make your readers a bunch of shitheads?

Julie: Do you have any readers?

Randy: These are all diamond turd questions. Tell us a gold nugget idea of your own.

(5 minutes of silence)

Randy: Silence huh? Good one. Wise. You know, they’re looking for the next Dalai Lama.

A Common-Sense Tax Proposal

Nobody likes that their taxes go toward the things that they hate, but they do like when their taxes go toward things they support. My proposal: find someone who believes everything the exact opposite of you and swap tax responsibility with them. If you support the Iraq War and I support NPR, why are we each upset? I’ll claim responsibility of the $2.81 you contributed toward NPR over the last 8 years, and you can claim $2.81 of the $13,000 I paid toward the Iraq War. It’s win-win, except of course for the millions of displaced or dead Iraqis.

Please forget this joke

I'm interested in many of the things that came out of Allen Ginsberg's mouth, but none of the things that came into it.

Hitchcock's Glass of Milk

Skip ahead to 2:20 for Hitchcock's take on whether or not films influence people. Find out what he told a reporter who asked him for a comment about a serial killer who murdered his third victim after watching Psycho. You'll also want to hear why he won't make a period picture. Just do yourself a favor and watch the whole thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2aukM-zoAI

This Blog Just Happened

Leon wrote: 

Leon Lutz seeks interpretation. In a dream, he was accompanied by a woman who was familiar but not immediately identified on a number of near calamities ranging from almost missing a plane to almost being struck by a car. In each instance, Leon locked eyes with the same concerned man in the crowd. Leon finally realized that his companion was Sarah Palin as she reassuringly whispered "Todd is watching us...from a distance."

……………………….

The best thing about the dream is the God/Todd wordplay. Before I get to the interpretation though I want to ask- who is responsible for coming up with something so clever? Leon? Leon was asleep. Seemed like it just happened. (Fans of Errol Morris’s Vernon, FL know that things that “just happened” are also evidence of God’s hand in the world. Was God responsible?) Clever wordplay, yes… but I give Leon no credit.

Once back in college I was up late working on some geometry homework. There was a problem that I simply couldn’t solve. I went to bed and when I woke up I knew the answer. Seems like the answer was given to me. Maybe the solutions I figured out while awake came about in the same mysterious way, except that I was aware of it happening. Answers come in a flash of inspiration that always feels outside of oneself. Was I responsible for my homework? It didn’t seem like it. It seems like the answers “just happened.”

Did you ever misunderstand someone and what you misunderstood turned out to be interesting or funny in some way? I think that’s how terms like “catbird seat” and “crazy-eight bonkers” made their way into the lexicon. Nobody is responsible for crazy-eight bonkers, it was a misunderstanding that happened to be interesting. Crazy-eight bonkers just happened.

Writers like Steinbeck have said that when they are writing they don’t feel responsible, it seems like the words are just flowing out. Actors have said the same thing. Dustin Hoffman said that the end of The Graduate has been misinterpreted. When he breaks into the church and looks down at the congregation and bangs on the glass with his arms spread, people said that he’s a Jesus figure. He said it wasn’t the intent. Intentional or not, it just happened. And it works!

So maybe nobody is responsible for any of their acts of creation- writers, actors… parents. Maybe things are just happening. Maybe that’s why the Oscars are a sham, and maybe that’s why Dustin Hoffman’s acceptance speech for Kramer vs. Kramer was so good. In it, he recognized that it’s foolish to rate the five top performances against one another- he said they were each creations by masters of the craft, each giving something of themselves. How can you rank them?

Any act of creation is achieved by losing yourself (your “self”) in the process. The extent to which you lose your self might be a measure of how good the creation is. That’s why The Black Swan was so good, maybe the best movie ever on the process of creation. (It was certainly better than The King’s Speech, right?)

OK, so I guess you can rate works of art- that’s why The Grapes of Wrath is a better book than Twilight. Maybe they are good in proportion to how how much of the self was lost in the creation. Maybe the difference between good art and bad art is whether we are trying to make things happen, or whether we are just letting things happen.

I don’t know, but on to the dream interpretation:

Leon’s subconscious is trying to resolve contrary facts.

1) Sarah Palin wants to be the one to save the country from ruin (“calamities”) by embracing American values such as traditional families (Todd) and belief in a higher being (God,) thus the Todd/God wordplay.

But it would be a contradiction for her to be responsible AND be true to tradition American values since,

2) traditionally the wife should be submissive to the husband

and

3) “God is watching over us” but terrible things are happening- thus “the problem of evil” which has plagued philosophers and religious scholars for centuries. God is all-knowing, all-powerful, everywhere, and good- so how can there be evil? God could stop it. According to traditional American values, if evil is stopped then God is responsible, not Sarah Palin. If God is watching over us, and Todd is watching over Sarah, why is she important? (This explains her inconspicuous presence in the dream.) But she is important. Why? Leon’s subconscious hasn’t figured it out yet.

Memo to Leon’s subconscious: What if God is working THROUGH Sarah Palin? Then her act of creation (the new, better America) will be accomplished by losing her self (communion with God) in the creation. Unfortunately trying to trademark your name might be the absolutely height of egomania, so the possibility of her losing her self is out.

One things for sure- if Sarah Palin does become president, and the country comes out better as a result, that will be 100% rock-solid proof that God exists… because it will have “just happened.”

……………………………..

For those not in-the-know, my favorite quote from Vernon, FL, from the old man in the canoe:

I've never seen anything more perfect in my life than to see the perfection of God himself. You hear so much- that thing just happened. That just happened. Folks think that way all the time. "That just happened.” There was an old fellow talking to me in that house up yonder. He said, "There ain't no such thing as a God."

I said, "Mr. Day," I said, "You believe you're here, don't you?"

"Yeah, I believe I'm here. "

I said, "Do you believe any man on earth made you?"

"No, I didn't make me."

I said, "Do you believe any man on earth made Adam and Eve?"

He said, "No, I don't believe it."

I said, "What made them? How come I'm here?"

He said, "That just happened."

I said, "You saying ‘just happened,’ let's call that God. Let's give it another name and say, "That just happened."

That's what God is: just happened.